Friday, January 04, 2008

Things That Make Me Throw Up In My Mouth

As some of you may have noticed, I was out of the country for most of the summer. Perhaps that is how I managed to miss the opening of the 27 million dollar Creation Museum in Kentucky in May of last year, further contributing to our current position as laughing-stock of the western world. For those that may not be in-the-know, this museum promotes a literal interpretation of the Bible, including the idea that the Earth is a meager 6000 years old. In order to accommodate the enormous fossil record, the museum depicts Adam and Eve cavorting with Brontosauruses and T. rexesin the garden of Eden. In fact, there are even dinosaurs wearing saddles in the Garden of Eden exhibits. I suppose that makes sense - why ride a camel, or a horse, or a llama, or an elephant if you could ride a dinosaur? Certainly, if I were cavorting in the garden of Eden, clothing-less, sex-less, and knowledge-less, I would think to make a saddle for a triceratops and ride him around in paradise to my heart's content.

The museum further asserts that the fossil record we have is a result of the organisms that were alive being distributed and buried during the great flood. The Grand Canyon is a result of all of the flood waters receding (a brilliant example of catastrophism). Apparently the museum ends with a montage about the ills of the human race (including drugs, abortions, teen suicide and homosexuality). The reason the human race has descended into evil is, of course, because too many people believe in evolution.

Wow.

So, my first factual issue with this whole thing is that the majority of Americans do not believe in evolution. 61% of Americans believe in creationism (though the number of those that believe in a literal, young earth version of creationism is mercifully smaller). It is because so many people do believe in creationism that has allowed such a place to be built in the first place. Clearly, there are plenty of other gross factual errors in what I've described here, the most laughable being that dinosours and humans were somehow alive at the same time. But I feel confident that any reasonable human being is capable of discerning fact from fiction in that account. Any unreasonable person will not be persuaded by anything I have to say on the matter.

So, instead of discussing in fine, scientific detail what exactly is wrong with the Creation Museum, I'm going to post an m4a. In flagrant violation of copyright law, I give you Dinosaurs in the Bible by Bill Hicks, one of my very favorite comedy sketches. For all like-minded scientists, listen and be amused. For all not-like-minded people, listen and go vent your righteous anger in your own blogs.

What's the silver lining on any of this? At least we're not alone in our shame.

6 comments:

  1. Haha dinosaurs with saddles.

    Well I guess I should have found one of those on my digs (see entry on my blog)...

    rofl

    Ah, by the way: thanks for your visit to my blog. That was kind of funny. I wrote the blog entry then studied my visitor map, saw that someone in Frisco just had read said blog entry, went back to the main page and found your comment...

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  2. The largest thing I've found in my various digs ...

    ... is a rabbit.

    Though from here on out, I shall aspire to 6000 year old dinosaurs with saddles on them.

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  3. O My God

    I just listened to that stand-up comedy stuff you posted in the blog entry:

    Seriously hillarious!

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  4. A friend of mine (who is also a paleontologist) played that for me about a year ago and the first time I heard it I laughed so hard I almost peed my pants.

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  5. I just want to go on record and say that if I had a chance to ride a dinosaur (even naked and sexless), I totally would. ;)

    Post museum pictures, please!

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  6. Aw, I didn't go. :) Just read about it. Believe me, if I went there would be pictures!

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